i can't remember how many times i've said this

but even if there's no happy ending to our love, i still cherish wut we had

it doesn't neccessary mean the specific romantic moments;

every times our eyes met, those moments will always be fresh in my mind

can't remember how many times, 2, have i randomly smiled into space simply by thinking of u

is it possible for me to ruin moments likethese?

 

i guess u don't remember how we met; i have no idea 2

i think it's becuz we had different timing of recognizing each other's existence

i, however, recognized u and ur careless attitude the very first time i saw u

but it was not until long after had i realize i couldn't take my eyes off u

i restrainted myself away from ur voice, and i felt like i live in a world without oxygen

wut's the point of making urself doin something that's completely against ur heart?

i've decided to let myself go, to be free to love whoever

 

now, it's time for me to be the bigger person

i reallie think "happy ending" is a term with broad meanings which completely depends the person

to me, my definition would be

as long as i love u, and for as long as u let me to love u

 

so there, ur response to my feelings are not as important to me now

i wish u would never know, and i wish i can hold the secret in for the longest time~~~

 

3 months of summer is officially over today

i feel tired n exhausted, but at the same time i feel fulfilled

maybe it's becuz i found the answer i was searching for, or maybe becuz i found a whole new chapter to my life

or maybe.., just maybe, ...it's both

 

during these 3 months, i discovered a hidden personality of me

perhaps it's what distinguished me from others, or perhaps it's wut separated me from others

i reallie don't no

i don't think i've ever been so lost in my life be4

i no im searchin for something and i couldn't find it, yet im still searching

has it been more than a thousand times already have i thought to myself, "what is it bout me that has changed?"

i think something HAS changed, but others propsed the opposite

maybe it's exactly what i needed, TO CHANGE

never have i been so stressed or confused

everything i thought i have loved and cherished becomes everything i couldn't have been more careless about

yes, everything i see is blurred and gray

so different from wut i used to see

it used to be colorful and happy

HAPPY......

 

i want a change, and i demade a change!

that's a promise i made to myself

im not lack of materialistic things, in fact, i think im havin a hard time due to excessively exposure to materialistic thinking

do i miss my past?

yes, becuz i was so happy living in it

do i want to go back?

not reallie becuz that means i have to face my pain all over again

should i start over?

perhaps, if i can figure out a solution by then

am i ever goin to be happy again?

hard to say, becuz my perception of happiness changes all the time

do i need a guy to be happy?

lol, i don't no, depends.....

 

well, hopefully the next time i log on here i would be more happy and fulfilled

hopefully i'll get to show-off the "new me"